His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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