this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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