I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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