after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Too much gin, very little bucket
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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