I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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