WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
