You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
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in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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