you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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