I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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