All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
3pm strippers are depressing
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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