Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
