bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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