i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize