it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
