Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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