I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
