i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize