YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
