He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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