How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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