I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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