smell my finger.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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