Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
