You just made me feel so damn special
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
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Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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