I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
