My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
