You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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