I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
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So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?