hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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