You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
