I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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