after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Banned from zoo.
Again?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
