someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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