He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.