i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.