Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you