I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
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Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
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I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad