So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
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Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable