he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother