oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
