I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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