You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think I won the penis lottery.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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