White coat. Heels.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
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Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
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When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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