He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
