so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
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You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
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there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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