But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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