a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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