I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
