What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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