I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
