We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
