your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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