Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
