he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
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Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
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doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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