turn off your phone and go to bed
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?