You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
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I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???