is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today