It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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